I did something that made me feel normal last week.
I ate dinner with others at a friend's house.
We sat at a table outside and sipped on drinks while the host cooked an awesome dinner and talked. The sun setting, the dog drooling, the smell of burgers and chicken.
I distinctly recall driving past nice, middle-class homes during the deepest of my struggles wondering what in the hell I had done wrong.
But there I was with friends enjoying off time and getting to know some new folks better.
Feeling normal, the next day I had my hair cut and then shaved my beard. These small gestures, all small and normal, continue to be steps on climbing out of my hole.
I know I have failed in reaching out and that's part of my plan to re-engage life.
(I just realized this sounds morose and it should not. I'm happy about these instances and more so the revelations about normalcy.)
I mean as normal as I can get -- for me.
Peace and dog drool unto all of you my brothers and sisters.