"To sleep, perchance to dream."
I woke up early today but with little on my plate and me as warm as a Cinnebon in the 50-degree Hermitage, I went back to sleep.
That allowed me this dream:
Snoop Dogg picks me up in his ride, a dark blue lowrider so shiny you could find it in the dark on the moon.
We traded small talk but soon enough it turned serious. He wanted to develop a buddy movie with me if I wrote it for him. I told him we could call it "Salt n Peppa" and that old rap trio would be prominent in the soundtrack, as would he. For the record, I would be Salt.
What kind of buddies would we be? I suggested cops. (I dream in cliches apparently.) No. No, Snoop said. He ain't playing no cop. Drug dealers? No. Even though Snoop is currently a drug dealer -- a legal one -- as a cannabis entrepreneur.
We drove for some time.
Then he dropped me off at a community center I'd never been to while he was off on some errands. I tried to shoot buckets but all the balls were flat. I tried to switch to throwing footballs into the basketball baskets at court length -- a peculiar talent of mine in high school -- but again all the footballs were flat.
Some kids came in to play basketball with a fully inflated ball but they left me out of the game. When I protested, they said I was too old, too fat. And seriously lacking in cool.
I told them I was working with Snoop Dogg on a movie deal. No way, they laughed.
I waited a long time on the sidelines and then I heard Snoop honking outside. I told the youngsters Snoop was outside to pick me up. They followed me out.
They cheered as I got into the lowrider.
I was suddenly cool.
"Any more ideas, writer man?" Snoop asked.
"Yeah. Salt and Pepper are two community center coaches who teach inclusiveness. And maybe smoke a little weed."
"Yeah, man. Get to work," he said, adding a sobriquet of 12 letters that suggests I've had relations with my mother.
Here the dream ends.
Yeah, nothing about homelessness, current events or breaking news about my job search. But it's a story I had to get out of my head.
Peace and sweet dreams unto you my brothers and sisters.