Are you there, jobs? It's me Rich.

I know it's been a while since we were together but I'm still looking for you.

But it's the middle of December and jobs have dried up more quickly than my pinky toe.

Company hiring ends in the last month of the year as managers and bean counters try to make their numbers for the year. I've seen the corporate memos: "Hiring is dark until turn of the year when we shall return to glorious profits"; "Jobs will remain as dark as the soul of the current CEO"; and "All hiring is closed unless it's an emergency, such as, but not limited to, death of an essential employee by a fire-breathing dragon. Hiring manager must provide burnt corpse."

As such, I'll hunker down in my hotel room for the next couple of weeks, continue looking for jobs and become reacquainted with the vast wasteland that is American television. I remember as a kid, we would fight over the competing 12 channels and now there are hundreds and it's largely dreck.

Sadly, my first night with a working TV in half a decade, I ended up watching a documentary about JonBenet Ramsey -- something I probably saw 20 years ago.

Clearly, I am part of the problem.

Thanks for listening, jobs.

Signed, Rich.

Peace and survival unto all of you my brothers and sisters.