It's all so exhausting.
Working, 10-, 12-, 14-hour days as a journalist was similarly so. But at least I accomplished something in my time. I felt fulfilled, accomplished.
But the lack of knowing what's next is stressful and tiring to a degree from which it's hard to recover.
I was unaware of this effect until one of my newspapers took a year-long dive into the effects of poverty on our area. One of the major issues was health and it was then I learned about the stress of the disenfranchised and how that affects blood pressure, heart issues and depression among a myriad of issues. And none of that included a lack of access to decent health care.
As I transition from one home to another, I can sleep 12 hours and remain so exhausted that sometimes the idea of taking another step is too much. Cook? Screw that. Take care of myself? Maybe later. Exercise? Yeah, when I can.
I know those who have don't understand the lives who don't have. Read "A Framework of Understanding Poverty" by Ruby Payne. She writes about how a different mindset comes on under the stress of difficulty. It can alter rationality and logic and reality.
I read it 20 years ago and now I've come to live it.
I think it was the German philosopher Lilly von Schtupp who once said, "Let's face it -- I'm fwickin' exhausted."
Peace and rest unto you my brothers and sisters.