I will not worry until July.

I will not worry until July.

I will not worry until July.

That's my mantra on June 18. The first of July will mark a two-month mark -- which is not a particularly long time in a job search. But I'm working the admonition to be kind to myself, patient as I try to be with others.

Yet, I need a damn job.

So when another day goes by and the cell phone lies on my desk top, dead as fish on a river bank, quiet and slightly as smelly, I feel the anxiety. It starts at the tip of my head and moves to my shoulders, which start to hunch up around my ears. Then to my heart -- an organ impeded by some poorly chewed bratwurst over the years -- and then to my stomach. Tight but not taut.

When I go more than a day without an applicable job to which I can apply, I continue my mantra.

I will not worry until July.

I will not worry until July

I will not worry until July.