‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through Best Value Inn
Not a creature was stirring
Except the Homeless Editor’s gin.
All were snuggled safe in their beds
Blankets wrapped ‘round their neck
Thinking of might be around the corner
Dreaming of that $600 stimulus check.
Until that peace was broken into pieces
By a shattering of the night in noise.
Thankfully it was not a nearby uprising
Of the Bugaloos or the Proud Boys
Now Dasher, now Prancer!
Where are you Tiny Dancer?
On Donner, on Blitzen!
On President Richard Nixon!
Oh, I needed little this quiet Christmas
Maybe just a $5,000 Peleton
Where I could pedal mindlessly
Until I appeared as a skeleton.
I didn’t see mommy kissing Santa.
But I did see her face him standing tall.
“Why didn’t you tell me,” she said.
“Your bonus check would be so small?”
Oh, I wish you the most merry of days
And hope your present is more the norm
For 2021 is a new beginning, a new year
It sure as hell can’t be the same 2020 shit storm.